Anxious About Not Being Anxious?
A common issue I see with clients who hit a plateau during their anxiety treatment, is the discomfort with not having anxiety. Sounds kind of weird, right? The whole reason someone would seek out therapy for anxiety is to not be anxious. I want to normalize this experience for past, current, and future clients as well as others who may read this and struggle with anxiety.
Think about it this way, if you’ve ever struggled with a long term physical issue like a broken leg, then you know adjusting to having your cast taken off, those first few exercises in physical therapy, and finally, getting back to normal daily activities can be a little scary and feel quite foreign. The same goes for anxiety. A lot of times, people who have anxiety will develop issues at a younger age that go untreated for quite some time. Anxiety gets super close and becomes their “right-hand man”. Although they are miserable, and want the anxiety to go away, they have become accustomed to living with it. Having a moment without anxiety or encountering a previous trigger for anxiety without actually having anxiety can feel super weird! These situations often provoke a thought similar to “wait, why I am not anxious, what is wrong? I should be anxious, this feels weird.” Instead of panicking or trying to welcome back the anxiety, I want you to try these things:
Notice the thought or feeling: “I notice I’m having the thought or feeling that I should be worried even though I’m not.”
Take a deep breath.
Reframe: “I have been working on my anxiety and I am seeing the progress in moments where I feel calm. This is exciting but also new to me.”
Continue on with your daily life. There is no need to give this more thought or attention. The more this happens, and it probably will if you’re doing the hard work, it will become less foreign and hopefully more comfortable.
I want to normalize this concept and remind everyone they are not alone nor is this a “weird” or “stupid” thought or feeling to experience. You can want your anxiety to get better but also feel uncomfortable adjusting to a life with less anxiety and that’s ok!
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